the rules, gently.

people come here when something hard is happening. treat every story like it's the most courageous thing that person did this week — because often, it is.

that means:

• no insults, mocking, or "well actually"-ing someone's pain.
• no minimizing ("it could be worse", "be grateful", "others have it harder") — even if true, it isn't useful.
• no debating someone's experience. you can disagree with an idea without invalidating a feeling.

if you're not sure whether something would land well — it probably won't. ask yourself: would i say this to a friend at their kitchen table at 2am?

when someone tags their post "no advice", that's a request to be witnessed, not fixed. respect it.

what counts as advice on a "no advice" post?

• suggesting therapy, meditation, exercise, a book, a podcast.
• recommending products, apps, supplements, breathing techniques.
• "have you tried …" or "you should …"
• silver-lining reframes ("at least you have …")

what's still okay

• simply acknowledging: "i hear you", "that sounds really hard", "thank you for sharing this".
• sharing your own related experience without making it a lesson.
• the heart / support button — always.

anonymity is the foundation of this place. don't break it for anyone.

• don't dox — no real names, addresses, workplaces, phone numbers, schools, or social-media handles. yours or anyone else's.
• don't link external profiles in posts or replies.
• don't ask "what's your real name?" / "where do you live?" — even gently.
• if you screenshot a post (for crisis reporting only), blur or remove the handle.

a note on screenshots

please don't screenshot stories for jokes, "look at this" posts, or to share outside the platform. this is a closed circle on purpose.

we're peers, not professionals.

• no diagnosing ("sounds like you have …").
• no prescribing medications, dosages, or supplement stacks.
• no advising people to stop or change their treatment. this one is serious — encouraging someone to drop their meds can cause real harm.

you can share your experience with a diagnosis, treatment, or therapist — just don't extrapolate it into instructions for someone else.

removed on sight, no warnings, no negotiation:

any of these will end your access. no second chances on this one.

what's specifically prohibited

• any content encouraging self-harm or suicide.
• step-by-step descriptions of methods.
• "pact" posts looking for partners.
• romanticizing self-harm.

what's okay (and even welcome)

• sharing that you're struggling, without details about method or means.
• asking for support, witnessing, presence.
• talking about recovery, setbacks, what's helped or hurt.

if you see someone in crisis

• respond gently — even just "i'm here, i hear you" matters.
• share crisis resources — point them to free 24/7 lines.
• report the post using the report button — we'll look at it within hours, not days.

good responses don't have to be long, smart, or polished. some patterns that work:

say what you noticed

• "that sounds exhausting."
• "the part about __ really landed for me."

share without making it about you

• "i went through something similar last year — you're not the only one."

just be present

• "i don't have words but i read it. thank you for sharing."

avoid

• "have you tried …"
• "it could be worse."
• "everything happens for a reason."
• "praying for you 🙏" — unless the OP shared a faith.

how to report

every post and comment has a three-dot menu with a report option. one click. we get a notification. reports are anonymous to the person being reported.

what happens next

1. we look at it — usually within 24 hours, faster for crisis flags.
2. if it breaks a rule, it's removed.
3. for serious or repeated violations, the account is suspended or banned.
4. bans for prohibited content (section 05) are permanent.

appeals

if you think we got it wrong, write to support@stillhere.app with what happened. we read every email — this is a one-person project, not a queue, so a real human will respond.